My latest article is a finalist in Parent Co.’s Writer of the Month Contest! Please read, like, share, and show some love! Thank you so much!!! The Spectrum Is Full Circle: My Journey as an […]
Questioning, seeking, confronting, hearing, and accepting a diagnosis has not exactly been a picnic in the park for us, so can you please not make this part harder on us than it has to be? The last thing we need right now is to convince you of something we, too, are struggling to accept. We are working full-time to support our children through this, so please don’t make us work for your support too.
Society looks at autism and sees a deficit, when in reality the real deficit is in our own neurotypical thinking.
As I read the words “Stage IV high risk neuroblastoma,” two worlds collided within my mind. He has cancer. This little, adorable, sweet, beautiful five year old boy who has nonverbal autism, also has stage IV cancer.
They are the women who write the words that I have yet to find, and who share the courage that I have misplaced. I swear, it was just here. Maybe it is hidden in the dirty laundry, or perhaps, underneath the couch cushions, amongst the crumbs. It’s here… somewhere.
There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle.
Whether you’re a veteran or an amateur special needs parent, we all get that “deer in the headlights’ look as our child’s IEP meeting approaches. From the moment you walk through the door to […]
Somewhere right now, there is a girl on a farm dreaming of becoming a movie star, and somewhere there is a movie star dreaming about a simpler life. Our own professional journeys are never interesting in and of themselves; they are interesting because of the choices they present us with. It is the choices we make when we arrive at the crossroads of our lives that define us.
Yet when we sign up for marriage, we all agree to the fine print. Hidden between “in good times and in bad,” at the bottom there is a small clause, where we agree to fight the good fight. We know that, undoubtedly, there will be hard times. There will be uphill battles. And we agree to fight this good fight until the bitter end. But where is this metaphysical bitter end? And how do we know when we have arrived.
My interview questions now tossed aside, I confessed the challenges I’ve been facing as a newbie special needs mom. True to character, I began to overshare, telling John how autism affects so much more than our children—it affects our relationships, our marriages, our jobs, everything.
Watching films that portray our personal situations and histories can be difficult, but when they’re real and raw and honest and just get what we have been through, it’s worth it. They connect us, not only to ourselves and our journeys, but to everyone else in this world who has gone through it, too. They even connect us with those who have not traversed our unique paths. When we share a film with others that authentically captures the essence of our individual struggle, we begin to cultivate understanding, and somewhere deep beneath the surface of our collective consciousness tiny roots of acceptance begin to sprout and multiply. It’s quite powerful.
No words. There are no words. There are no words to describe his hugs. No I love you. No, I love you more. No I love you could beat his hugs. I can’t. I can’t […]
He was three and still not talking, at all. The questions hung over our heads like ominous rain clouds; The guilt and self-blame blanketed our house like a thick morning fog. Is he autistic? Will this be the straw that breaks the camel’s back? Was this the end of my little family as I knew it?
Gymboree today. Can’t hardly wait. I’m so so tired and running late. But I know what my mom would say. I’ve got to go. I’ve got to try. He’ll get the hang of it. Give […]
So if we cannot possibly learn how to identify each individual’s invisible disability through self-education, then what can we possibly do? Well, I have good news for you. The answer is free, and you don’t even have to google it. It already lies within you. Instead of looking for the disability in others, look for the humanity within yourself. It will not fail you.
f you are truly concerned that a special needs parent will not feel “special” enough for the lifelong task they’ve recently inherited, then perhaps, instead of insisting that none of us are special, tell them that they sure as hell will be.
There are those among us so terrified of falling and breaking that we cannot truly live. We are clinging to our metaphorical glossy ponies for dear life as we resist our spinning realities; we are dizzied and doing everything in our power to keep our footing. While we mustn’t say goodbye to the carousel rides, we must accept the ticket we’ve been given. It’s not what we imagined, and if we spend the whole damn ride falling and getting back up again, at least we’re here. It’s why we’re here.
Dear Autism, I was just formally introduced to you, but I have known you well for years. You are the silence on my firstborn’s lips, and you are the loudest thing in my home. You […]
I shed tears of joy over hearing my sweet baby call me “mama” for the first time, and I shed tears of sadness over the thousands of times I had not heard it from my sweet Henry. The sad and happy tears pooled together in my eyes, making it difficult to discern one emotion from the next. The paradox of motherhood stained my cheeks for a brief moment before being swept away by an aloof and apathetic hand, eager to shut down the inner conflict. I didn’t know what to feel.